Life is hard...and I believe it's hard for a reason. God wants us to depend on Him with everything that we are and have and if life is easy we don't depend on Him.
"My salvation and my honor depend on God ; he is my mighty rock, my refuge." Psalm 62:7
About 2 years ago I was diagnosed with Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)* and at times it makes things hard. I know that God has given me this issue because He wants me to depend on Him, but there are times I just want him to take it away (PCOS is not curable...but is treatable).
*PCOS is a problem in which a woman’s hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant. If it is not treated, over time it can lead to serious health problems, such as diabetes and heart disease.
PCOS has made it "impossible" for me to get pregnant without using fertility drugs. After a consultation with my doctor he decided to put me on Provera (a drug to induce a period...which in turn should make me ovulate) because I do not get a regular period or ovulate on my own. After being on that for 10 days I should have a period...then I can start taking the fertility drug for 5 days. I will repeat this for 6 months with only a 30% chance of getting pregnant.
I have finished the 10 days of Provera and now sit and wait for my period...I have only 3 more days of waiting before they determine it has not worked which will result in another doctor appointment. There are days that I wonder where God is in all this. But I have to remember that this is His plan...even if I don't like it. There is a reason God is having Josh and I go through the tests, the drugs, the appointments, the waiting and the frustration...we just don't know the reason yet.
Our hope is in you Lord...
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11